Different Floors of the House

Friday, March 12, 2010

Renaming the N.Y. Times!

Ten pages.

No, I mean...TEN PAGES!

That's how many pages it took the ever-captious NY Times magazine to mount a full frontal assault on Texas's board of education...I mean edumacation (Oh my God I've been brainwashed by the Times already!  I only read the one article, I swear it!)  Texas, it seems, is going to turn THE ENTIRE COUNTRY into stark raving Christian Coalition members.  Run!

Apparently, Texas is w-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-y more influential than you or I ever dreamed.  All other states BOW at the dictatorial behest of a handful of, get this, SCHOOL BOARD MEMBERS FROM TEXAS.  Mwah.  Mwah.  Mwahahahahahaha!

Man, all we need is a chainsaw and some ketchup and we got ourselves a horror film dynasty just waiting to grace the screens of theaters everywhere.  Can't you taste how good this could be?  Diamonds, baby.  Diamonds.

You know what I like about the New York Times?  Nothing.  They are such lying shitbags it makes me sick to even look at the name in print.  I'm never typing the words: New, York and Times in the same sentence ever again on this blog.  You have my word on that.  Maybe someone could help me think up a demeaning nom de guerre for the Times.  I believe "The Fishwrap" is already spoken for--heck I think the Wrinkly Old Gray Lady (a.k.a. Decrepit Hoary Tired Ass Times of that city which shall not be named in this sentence) was the first official "fishwrap".  Meh.  I'll figure out a good name for it.

You're damned right I will.

I guess I could go through the trouble of spelling out what the hell is wrong with Mr. Russell Shorto's lopsided piece in that filthrag...but I'm not gonna.  Read it for yourself, HERE.  I'd rather sit here and make fun of Mr. Shorto's last name.  I mean who wouldn't, right?

Nah.  He's a liberal, he's got lawyers and isn't afraid to use them.

No comments: