Different Floors of the House

Saturday, February 20, 2010


I'm not doing this because it's Black History Month, that fact only dawned on me about 1/2 through this very lengthy process. I did this because Keith Olbermann is an idiotic, hypocritical, racist, elitist, bastard. I hope you like it...I sure enjoyed making it.

You can click on the actual video to watch it on Youtube.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

F to the you see kay E dee

You love trains.

You always have. The first "serious" poem you ever wrote was about a train...or at least had a train in it. You know this is true, think about it. Ok, maybe your first serious poem was about flowers or rainbows.... But, trains are part of the American subconscious--at least they were when you were growing up. Now you're all growed up...yet still...

Still there is nothing quite like that sound in the middle of the night when everyone and everything else is dead asleep except you and that train off in the distance. You know where those intermittent whistles and that familiar screeching of brakes comes from. Those sounds come from down in the train yard, miles away, but you can hear them, because you're listening. Maybe you think you want to see them, those trains, in the middle of the night. Maybe you've never seen a midnight black train lot lit up by the blinding light of an oncoming train. Maybe the ding ding dings aren't the fractal resonances meant to warn you to stay away...maybe they are the aural luminescence of your Siren's call. Or...maybe you just want to hear the muffled yells of the workers down there, in the yard, barking out against the din of locomotion. So maybe one night you get in your car, let it warm up a bit while contemplating whether you really want to do this. It is kind of weird you know, your fascination with trains. Maybe trains represent some mesmerizing metallic alliteration and as you watched one pass many years ago, you know, the clunk and blow, the careening machine, the twin steel pall, the audible raucous caw of awe...you wondered...you had to wonder: What's inside those compartments? You pondered with every passing car and with every elliptical gap between them... Rocks... Shopping Carts... Cotton... Hay... Computers... Car Parts... A Hobo... Ben Gay... A shipment of wigs and/or synthetic toupees? Maybe the allegorical spirit that feeds your love and fascination with trains is a reality. Maybe it's forced. But then, maybe this is




and you really,


hate trains.

You hate them because they are stinky.

They are loud.



Rusted. Dilapidated. Eyesores. Stupid. Dumb. And bleeped.

Yes, trains.

Are bleeped.

They make you late for work.

That's bleeped.

They cause traffic jams.

Totally bleeped.

The graffiti isn't even like it used to be.

F to the you see kay E dee.

And they are old...like, really, really old. The concept is old. Tired. Tired and all kinds of bleeped.

After all, they are relics of a time gone by. Now when you think of trains all you can think about is Hitler. Go ahead, think about trains. Hitler, amIright?

Hitler. Trains. Ok, I apologize for that. Think about Thomas the Tank Engine, then. That'll make it all go away. -------------------->

And that's a shame, because when you think of trains you SHOULD be thinking about Benito Mussolini. Go ahead. Keep thinking.

Keep thinking. (hint at the bottom of page...)

You with me now?

See, it's bleeped.

Alright, if the name Eichmann is swashing around in your head, you get a cookie. Now shut up.

Fine, we'll have to concede a certain romantic allure: a train is that quintessential serpentine, that steely asp, and symbolic catalyst for some fancy shit you don't want to understand. Don't have time to understand, you're late for work. So bleep trains. Bleep trains! You hate the bleep out of trains.

Alright, alright. Calm down.



What really blows the steam out of your whistle is that in third grade the teacher asked you to draw that picture of what the future was going to be like. And do you know what? Not one kid--not even the brace-faced dufus in front by the window drew a train. NOT ONE TRAIN TO REPRESENT THE FUTURE! What did they draw? Well, duh, they drew spaceships and jetpacks and astronauts...that kind of stuff. Jetpacks. Where's my bleepity bleep jetpack?

You don't have a jetpack, do you?

A train? This is what we get? We get a...a...a...train?

I want you to remember this day. Because this was the day you look at yourself in the mirror and realized. This place is bleeped! Trains! The sadness ensues...

Alas! Fear not! Real Hope is on the Horizon. And everything is not bleeped.

That's right boys and girls. The free market will do what the government cannot and will not do. The government can go ahead on and expand their fascist grasp on Florida for all we care. Let the Disney moguls lie in bed with the Obama administration and build their silly little train. We don't care. Let the Obama administration outsource NASA. We do not care. Private entrepreneurship will take us into the future--or back to the future we knew was ours...way back in third grade.

Fascism was really the basis for the New Deal. It was Mussolini's success in Italy, with his government-directed economy, that led the early New Dealers to say "But Mussolini keeps the trains running on time." * Ronald Reagan.

Life 1.0

I'd like to be the first to invite all my friends (all 2 of you) to Shawna Caldwell's new blog. The world needs more straight thinkin' young writers. Subscribe, read, relate, respond! If we all pull together, the happier we'll be. I guarantee that...or your time spent reading will be refunded in full by some government agency two thousand miles away.

Good Luck Shawna!

(P.S. Yeah, this is kind of our way of FORCING you to blog!)

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Filibuster this!

Why is the filibuster all we ever hear about from D.C.? Does anyone else find this insane? Democrats have an OVERWHELMING majority, a larger majority than Republicans have had in like...FOREVER. Maybe they need the 76 Senators and 334 Representatives like they did when they ruined our nation with all the New Deal crap in the 75th congress. Maybe. But now, gasp, they only have 59 senators! What to do? What to do!


Apparently, it is impossible for the Democrats to do anything on their agenda unless they outnumber Republicans 3 to 1. Pansies. What a bunch of sniveling pansies. They have the House. They have the Senate. They have the One. They have nothing.

Tell them what they won Jonny:

Mass Backwards
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I just did a LexisNexis search for the word "filibuster" in the news over the last month or so. Over 1,000 entries on an unrefined search...if you want to get to the heart of it, the LexisNexis search for "filibuster" combined with "Reid" gets you 736 (major publication) references. Here are a few (these links won't work if you don't have access to LexisNexis, which is why I included the citation reference...go look them up...you'll find many more than just these...MANY):

Democrats seek to deflate filibusters; Bid appears doomed, as Senate rules require some GOP support
The Washington Post, February 12, 2010 Friday, A-SECTION; Pg. A25, 424 words, Paul Kane

Bill to rein in filibuster introduced. Long shot?; Democratic Sens. Jeanne Shaheen and Tom Harkin introduced a bill Thursday to curb the use of the filibuster, which they say promotes gridlock. But changing Senate rules requires 67 votes.
The Christian Science Monitor, February 12, 2010 Friday, 440 words, Peter Grier Staff writer

Talking about filibusters
Los Angeles Times, January 14, 2010 Thursday, MAIN NEWS; Editorial pages Desk; Part A; Pg. 20, 301 words

Filibuster changes: Proceed with caution; Some Democrats want to curb use of tactic, but others warn of less power if party loses majority status
The Washington Post, February 8, 2010 Monday Correction Appended, A-SECTION; Pg. A13, 945 words, Paul Kane

And, if you go back to the beginning of Obama's administration, filibuster is the catch word the whole way. Over ten THOUSAND references in LexisNexis pertain to (insert politician here) and the word "filibuster".

What the...take the glue from them quick!

I love the filibuster. One little four syllabled word can bring the entire U.S. government to its knees! YUMMY LOVE. In fact, I love it so much, I'm going to filibuster this blog entry. Who was it that read from the bible for like 16 hours straight? I love that guy whoever that was...

1:1 In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. 2 The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day.

This is kind of fun, actually...

6 And God said, “Let there be an expanse [1] in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters.” 7 And God made [2] the expanse and separated the waters that were under the expanse from the waters that were above the expanse. And it was so. 8 And God called the expanse Heaven. [3] And there was evening and there was morning, the second day.

9 And God said, “Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear.” And it was so. 10 God called the dry land Earth, [4] and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And God saw that it was good.

11 And God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants [5] yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.” And it was so. 12 The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening and there was morning, the third day.

Right on, God! Whoop! Whoop!

14 And God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night. And let them be for signs and for seasons, [6] and for days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light upon the earth.” And it was so. 16 And God made the two great lights—the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night—and the stars. 17 And God set them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth, 18 to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening and there was morning, the fourth day.

20 And God said, “Let the waters swarm with swarms of living creatures, and let birds [7] fly above the earth across the expanse of the heavens.” 21 So God created the great sea creatures and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 22 And God blessed them, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth.” 23 And there was evening and there was morning, the fifth day.

24 And God said, “Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds—livestock and creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kinds.” And it was so. 25 And God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds and the livestock according to their kinds, and everything that creeps on the ground according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.

Creeps...Ground...Is he talking about Congress here?

26 Then God said, “Let us make man [8] in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” 29 And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. 30 And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. 31 And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

Had enough yet? Give up yet? Hmm? No? Fine...But let's try something else...

Dhritirashtra. Ranged thus for battle on the sacred plain-
On Kurukshetra- say, Sanjaya! say
What wrought my people, and the Pandavas?
Sanjaya. When he beheld the host of Pandavas,
Raja Duryodhana to Drona drew,
And spake these words: "Ah, Guru! see this line,
How vast it is of Pandu fighting-men,


Embattled by the son of Drupada,
Thy scholar in the war! Therein stand ranked
Chiefs like Arjuna, like to Bhima chiefs,
Benders of bows; Virata, Yuyudhan,
Drupada, eminent upon his car,
Dhrishtaket, Chekitan, Kasi's stout lord,
Purujit, Kuntibhoj, and Saivya,
With Yudhamanyu, and Uttamauj
Subhadra's child; and Drupadi's;- all famed!
All mounted on their shining chariots!
On our side, too,- thou best of Brahmans! see
Excellent chiefs, commanders of my line,
Whose names I joy to count: thyself the first,
Then Bhishma, Karna, Kripa fierce in fight,
Vikarna, Aswatthaman; next to these
Strong Saumadatti, with full many more
Valiant and tried, ready this day to die
For me their king, each with his weapon grasped,
Each skilful in the field. Weakest- meseems-
Our battle shows where Bhishma holds command,
And Bhima, fronting him, something too strong!
Have care our captains nigh to Bhishma's ranks
Prepare what help they may! Now, blow my shell!"

Oh man, I gotta take a leak...

Then, at the signal of the aged king,
With blare to wake the blood, rolling around
Like to a lion's roar, the trumpeter
Blew the great Conch; and, at the noise of it,
Trumpets and drums, cymbals and gongs and horns
Burst into sudden clamour; as the blasts
Of loosened tempest, such the tumult seemed!
Then might be seen, upon their car of gold
Yoked with white steeds, blowing their battle-shells,
Krishna the God, Arjuna at his side:
Krishna, with knotted locks, blew his great conch
Carved of the "Giant's bone;" Arjuna blew
Indra's loud gift; Bhima the terrible-
Wolf-bellied Bhima- blew a long reed-conch;
And Yudhisthira, Kunti's blameless son,
Winded a mighty shell, "Victory's Voice;"
And Nakula blew shrill upon his conch
Named the "Sweet-sounding," Sahadev on his
Called "Gem-bedecked," and Kasi's Prince on his.
Sikhandi on his car, Dhrishtadyumn,
Virata, Satyaki the Unsubdued,
Drupada, with his sons, (O Lord of Earth!)
Long-armed Subhadra's children, all blew loud,
So that the clangour shook their foemen's hearts,
With quaking earth and thundering heav'n.
Then 'twas-


Beholding Dhritirashtra's battle set,
Weapons unsheathing, bows drawn forth, the war
Instant to break- Arjun, whose ensign-badge
Was Hanuman the monkey, spake this thing
To Krishna the Divine, his charioteer:
"Drive, Dauntless One! to yonder open ground
Betwixt the armies; I would see more nigh
These who will fight with us, those we must slay
To-day, in war's arbitrament; for, sure,
On bloodshed all are bent who throng this plain,
Obeying Dhritirashtra's sinful son."

Where's that music coming from?

Thus, by Arjuna prayed, (O Bharata!)
Between the hosts that heavenly Charioteer
Drove the bright car, reining its milk-white steeds
Where Bhishma led, and Drona, and their Lords.
"See!" spake he to Arjuna, "where they stand,
Thy kindred of the Kurus:" and the Prince
Marked on each hand the kinsmen of his house,
Grandsires and sires, uncles and brothers and sons,
Cousins and sons-in-law and nephews, mixed
With friends and honoured elders; some this side,
Some that side ranged: and, seeing those opposed,
Such kith grown enemies- Arjuna's heart
Melted with pity, while he uttered this:
Arjuna. Krishna! as I behold, come here to shed
Their common blood, yon concourse of our kin,
My members fail, my tongue dries in my mouth,
A shudder thrills my body, and my hair
Bristles with horror; from my weak hand slips
Gandiv, the goodly bow; a fever burns
My skin to parching; hardly may I stand;
The life within me seems to swim and faint;
Nothing do I foresee save woe and wail!
It is not good, O Keshav! nought of good
Can spring from mutual slaughter! Lo, I hate
Triumph and domination, wealth and ease,
Thus sadly won! Aho! what victory
Can bring delight, Govinda! what rich spoils
Could profit; what rule recompense; what span
Of life itself seem sweet, bought with such blood?
Seeing that these stand here, ready to die,
For whose sake life was fair, and pleasure pleased,
And power grew precious:- grandsires, sires, and sons,
Brothers, and fathers-in-law, and sons-in-law,
Elders and friends! Shall I deal death on these
Even though they seek to slay us? Not one blow,
O Madhusudan! will I strike to gain
The rule of all Three Worlds; then, how much less
To seize an earthly kingdom! Killing these
Must breed but anguish, Krishna! If they be
Guilty, we shall grow guilty by their deaths;
Their sins will light on us, if we shall slay
Those sons of Dhritirashtra, and our kin;
What peace could come of that, O Madhava?
For if indeed, blinded by lust and wrath,
These cannot see, or will not see, the sin
Of kingly lines o'erthrown and kinsmen slain,
How should not we, who see, shun such a crime-
We who perceive the guilt and feel the shame-
O thou Delight of Men, Janardana?
By overthrow of houses perisheth
Their sweet continuous household piety,

What was that? overthrow...household...what?

And- rites neglected, piety extinct-
Enters impiety upon that home;
Its women grow unwomaned, whence there spring
Mad passions, and the mingling-up of castes,
Sending a Hell-ward road that family,
And whoso wrought its doom by wicked wrath.
Nay, and the souls of honoured ancestors
Fall from their place of peace, being bereft
Of funeral-cakes and the wan death-water.
So teach our holy hymns. Thus, if we slay
Kinsfolk and friends for love of earthly power,
Ahovat! what an evil fault it were!
Better I deem it, if my kinsmen strike,
To face them weaponless, and bare my breast
To shaft and spear, than answer blow with blow.

That's a little harsh dude, dontcha think?

So speaking, in the face of those two hosts,
Arjuna sank upon his chariot-seat,
And let fall bow and arrows, sick at heart.


I win.