"Hey kid, you've just been drafted to go to battle in a far away jungle in an undeclared war! Don't worry, it's for your own good."
Yeah. That worked.
No it did not. It started an entire subterranean movement that grew into an explosive counter-culture. Hippies, right? Of course, not all of the protesters against Vietnam were love, peace and Jesus freaks. A ton of them were embedded in college campuses around the nation. So while your uncle "Star Trip Infinity" was in the park dancing naked for chakra oneness, your soon-to-be-congressman was "sitting in" the Dean's chambers at Penn. Or Harvard. Or Berkeley. Or Wherever.
No one was going to tell these brats what was for their "own good" and what wasn't. These were the days of Kierkegaard and Niechze. Be damned all that Fascist Nixon crap. Right?
Right. And then what happened?
They grew up. These hippies actually grew up. They thought they won the Vietnam war. Ask them, they'll tell you they won it. They will. They finished college or left the nudist colony and got jobs. Gub'ment jobs. They became lawyers, politicians, doctors and teachers. Oh yes. Teachers.
And what did these ex-hippies and zen-love-age-of-aquarius rejects teach you?
"Wear a sealtbelt."
"Wear a helmet"
"Wear another helmet."
"Eat tofu"
"Use plastic bags and save a tree."
"Use paper bags and save a...uh...an entire planet"
"Smile for the CCTV"
"Stop smoking"
"Unless you're the master."
"Or this master."
"Stop drinking"
"Unless you're this master."
"Or any master."
"At least don't drink and drive"
"Unless, yeah, you're the master."
"And don't eat and drive"
"And don't talk and drive"
"Actually don't drive at all, take mass transit"
"Don't watch "X" news channel."
"Don't listen to Rap"
"Don't listen to Rock"
"Don't watch Charlton Heston movies, he's evil."
"Guns are bad. Hence the Charlton Heston thing we said before."
"Knives are pretty bad too."
"In fact, don't defend yourself at all."
"Don't pray. Unless you're a congressman and are forced to do so at the beginning of each day."
"Pay your taxes. All of them."
"Don't make fun of people."
"You may make fun of people that do not like taxes. That is ok."
"Wear yet another helmet."
"Don't go to the circus."
"Don't wear fur."
"Don't wear leather."
"Don't watch Bill O'Reilly. He eats children and uses their skin to make leather."
"Do not have children. The world is overpopulated and Bill O'Reilly can only do so much."
"These are not the dittoheads you're looking for."
"Glenn who? I never watch that show and neither should you and to prove it we're going to reintroduce the media fairness doctrine"
"And while we're at it, we'll pass some Net Neutrality. Gotta cover all the bases, as it were."
"You're a racist. Because we say you are."
"Say: All white people are racists. Three times before going to your multiculturalism class at the local community college."
"Fill out your census and tell us if you're a
"Don't use coal power, it has been evil since 1906."
"Don't use wind power or you're a murderer."
"Don't build your own water receptacle."
"Just kidding, go ahead and do your rain dance."
"Don't burn in your backyard...or do...because we refuse to tell you when you can and can't do it so that we can ticket you and gain access to your property."
"Say: Bush lied and people died three times before you lay you down to sleep."
"Don't fart."
"Don't breathe."
"At least don't breathe in marijuana."
"Unless you have a medical marijuana permit. Or unless we decriminalize it. Then you'll see our full force of arms!"
"Say: Obama lied and the people loved it three times before you turn on Keith Olbermann.
"Go to work. And only go to work. We like workers. They unite and stuff."
"We don't, however, like big business, or small businesses either for that matter, so good luck going to work. Get some of that wealth we're spreading around at your Social Services Outlet store."
"Did we already say 'don't own a gun?' Ok."
"Don't go hunting. It requires a gun."
"Don't go fishing either."
"In fact, don't do anything."
Oh, we could go on and on and on. And you love it. You're a democrat. You LOVE these rules, rules are awesome! It's not because you would ever behave irrationally and do something silly like talk on the phone while driving, is it? Nah, you would never do that. You need these laws to protect yourself from other evil people out there. Don't you? That's what your ex-hippie Master told you, isn't it, slave?
Slave.
You're a slave. And you relish your bondage.
If you love all these laws so much you can thank your Democrat mentors for them all. Every one of them. You see, they don't trust YOU. Masters don't trust their slaves. That's how it works. Their main job is to get you to trust them. Their secondary goal is to get you to talk your brothers into loving bondage too! And they've done it, slave. They've convinced you to like most of these laws, they've convinced you to spread the word of Greater Good totalitarianism haven't they?
But what about the few laws up there you think are silly. There are a few aren't there? I mean, you're not really a fascist are you? You don't think you are. I don't think you are. I bet there are a number of silly little things up there you loathe. Net neutrality. It's for your own good. But I know you hate it. Censorship? It's for your own good. You're not a racist, are you? Or has your master convinced you that you are by now? It's for your own good. The Greater Good.
And it won't stop there. The list will grow. And it will grow. And it will grow. And so will their ability, these ex-hippie fascists, to make you love your chains, and to make you help them put chains on your brothers.
You are your brother's keeper. Your brother's slave keeper.
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